"This book is my friend" —Parent
This classic guide can help
you and your family heal
Often called "the bible", this is the comprehensive guide parents refer to again and again—before separation, during divorce, after divorce, remarriage, and when blending families. The latest edition of this classic has five more chapters and 100 additional pages including more information on family court, mediation, Parenting Plans, meeting children's needs, and the pros and cons of two homes. It is a time-tested steadfast friend through the many twists and turns of these family changes--reorganizing family life, defining personal boundaries with the other parent and how to get along, dating, remarriage, a new baby, building family strength, what children need, long-distance parenting, and networks. It's an excellent companion to The CoParenting Toolkit.
Tips for Parents
This is a book of options. The author strongly urges all readers to read the whole book from cover to cover before making any major changes or decisions. Each chapter has an important message, like the piece of a puzzle. Although there are pieces of the puzzle that can be useful by themselves, the overall picture can remain cloudy or even misunderstood. You may not need all the pieces to get an outline of the picture, but you do need to know which pieces you are leaving out and why.
Timing is important. A person torn by regret or anger may not have the heart to read much for a while. But several months later, when faced with myriad decisions about house, children, money, and relating to the other parent, the information in this book becomes an important resource. Most people who have used the methods in this book have found that the rapid changes they experienced during their first two years of separation were eased by reviewing certain basic principles and guidelines. Even after a few years, people report that what they once felt was elementary became more and more profound as their lives unfolded and certain methods took on new value and usefulness. One parent, a writer, said: "This book is my reference manual."
If you are in the process of ending your marriage now, pay special attention to part 1 and the more specific information in part 2. If you are now dealing with the legal business, part 3 is important. Part 4 covers issues about family, remarriage, dealing with garden-variety complaints, and the years after separation.
The information emphasizes an order and structure for organizing and evaluating circumstances. Expand it, revise it, ignore it, disagree with it. Even your disagreements with an idea can help you focus your own point of view. Separation, most especially when you have children together, requires making many difficult choices. The purpose of this book is to help you evaluate your options and make your choices work for you.